Aperture Kirby
by sonicautobot
Summary: GLaDOS finds Kirby in a test chamber and decides to antagonize Chell by giving him to her. What could possibly go wrong. Written for class with a fellow student


Chell was in the test chamber, GLaDOS mocking her as always, when GLaDOS says, "Hello again, because your test scores are less than satisfactory, I've gotten you a present. Since you are clearly incompetent, let me tell you what to do. Press the button that will appear in front of you…" A button drops from the ceiling and lands in front of Chell. "Go on then, don't be afraid, I've already run out of ways to kill you." Chell presses the button. A weighted storage cube pipe came crashing through the ceiling, dropping a pink ball with arms and feet. As it fell, it made a noise of surprise. "I found this in a chamber about a month ago eating a turret... I thought I'd give it to you, maybe it will eat you, who knows.", GLaDOS said. The ground shook as the test room shifts around. "There, now you must co-operate".

A stand with a strange object Chell recognises to be a Portal Gun rises from the floor. As Chell reaches to grab it, it gets sucked from her hands with a sucking noise behind her. She turned to see the sphere eat the portal gun whole, then jumped in shock, in a very calm and composed manner, as the ball changed color and shape before her eyes. It was now a grey color, wearing an orange aperture jump suit with a nametag saying "Kirby" on it, and most astounding of all, was the portal gun, now a part of his arm. Kirby raised his arm and a blue portal shot out, as he continued to fire seemingly endless portals, deleting and replacing them as he went. He finally slowed down, and with intense concentration, he burped. Sending a small brown creature flying.

"Alas I am free! I, the Waddle Doo!" As Kirby began to inhale to eat it again, he raised his sword in triumph, making Kirby stop in his tracks, as they had been friends in Dreamland. "What's this, a new subject?", GLaDOS said. Ignoring her, Kirby, suddenly an expert with the portal gun, shot a portal on the ceiling and one below their feet, sending them to the finish. "I see the Spherical Pink Vacuum Apparatus has become adept with the portal gun." As the door to the next test opened, they all looked inside. Inside the room was a light bridge, an incinerator, a storage cube dispenser, and at the very top of the room, the door.

Chell pressed the button and picked up the storage cube, out of the corner of her eye she saw Kirby walk with Waddle Doo to the light bridge. Waddle Doo waved an arm at it and Kirby inhaled it. Kirby gained a metallic look, with metal knobs on the end of his arms. As he waved his arms around, beams of light shot out creating a light bridge a few feet away. After they threw the storage cube in the incinerator, Kirby glanced into it curiously. After what seemed to be a moment of ponder, he jumped in. Chell looked in and saw Kirby forming a light bridge beneath him. Then Waddle Doo walked up behind chell and pushed her in before jumping in himself.

GLaDOS called out behind them, "Wait, what are you doing? That's not the way the test goes. If you don't finish the test, _you can't get cake at the end_." Everybody ignored her. As they walked along Kirby's light bridge, a new corridor opened up to the fight of them. Having fought GLaDOS before, Chell recognized this as the path to her chambers and pointed. Kirby looked at her confused. Waddle Doo said, "She wants us to head down that corridor, you will need to reposition the bridge." Kirby moves his arms to the right, causing the bridge, and Chell and Waddle Doo, to rotate with them. Chell reached up and grabbed onto the ledge, pulling herself up. She then reached down and pulled up Waddle Doo and Kirby. They look around to see a giant machine Chell knows to be GLaDOS,

"Oh, there you are..."

"You know, I've been waiting for you to get here, but since you cheated, I can't give you cake, you monster..." Sirens started beeping.

"Neurotoxin has been enabled."

A countdown timer appeared on the wall saying 5:00. "And now, without a portal gun what are you going to do? Stand here and die from the toxin? But just to help things along… Here's another present". The floor sinks in around them, leaving turrets to take its place. Kirby inhales, sucking in all of the turrets as Waddle Doo reads Chell's mind, seeing the last fight. He looks in the direction the floating cores and shoots three lasers in succession from his eye, incinerating the cores. GLaDOS screamed in pain, "You monster, that won't work this time, I've upgraded", The time on the wall now showed 3:00. For the first time in minutes, the others look at Kirby, now a white color with a single red dot in the middle of his face, with black seams going around him. He turned, now having the exact vocabulary of the turrets and said, "Oh, there you are," and opened fire. As GLaDOS's cores were reduced to rubble, she shut down, "You… can not.. Defeat… me..." A screen pops out from the ceiling.

"Test Results: Intelligence: 0, Problem Solving: 0, Teamwork: 0, Overall Result: Fail", as GLaDOS's last act of revenge, she had failed them. A giant cake proceeded to fall from the sky, landing nearby with a sign on it reading, "I'm Sorry", Kirby inhaled and devoured the entire thing in a matter of seconds, turning into a cake with arms and feet. A portal opened behind Kirby, sucking Waddle Doo and Kirby back to Dreamland.


End file.
